Voices
by SqueakyPiggy
Summary: Clark overhears Lionel's words to Lex and Lex tries to repair the damage to their friendship. Rated T for language, implied suggestive situation. Completed
1. Demean

Once more with feeling :-D

The characters don't belong to me, never have, never will, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to play with them. I promise to put them back, promise. No betas were used or harmed in the production of this, um, comedy? Heh, anyways, this is not even close to being done nor is it how I envisioned the beginning to turn out, but somehow I think you knew that. Enjoy! Reviews are welcome but I won't hold my stories hostage for them.

Oh! Before I forget, in the later chapters, don't drink and read, please, I laughed so freakin hard I made myself sick. (Yes, the ending was written before the beginning, how strange. LOL)

* * *

Hands in his pockets, face tilted into the bright sun and thoroughly enjoying the slight breeze that ruffled his dark hair, Clark walked along the road towards Lex's home. With the help of his mother he had managed to clear a whole afternoon to do with, as he wanted. And what he wanted was to spend the afternoon hanging out with Lex. Lex, the name brought a smile to his lips with just the thought. Sure Lex was rich, had the fancy clothes, brilliant mind, and had a lot of /_cough/ _orgasmobiles /_cough/_ filling his garage, but it wasn't why he was Lex's friend. 

"Orgasmobile," Clark murmured to himself with a snicker as the guard gate to Lex's castle entered his view. _I'm gonna have to share that with Lex one day._ He was friends with Lex because Lex didn't treat him like everyone else in the town did, didn't let Clark fade into the background whenever they were together. It was something he had grown to like, having Lex's full attention, even if it meant that Lex was more likely to discover his secret.

With a jaunty wave and a friendly "Hello" to the guard, Clark jogged up the drive towards the castle and moved towards the kitchen entrance he usually used whenever he made his deliveries.

A quick knock on the door to announce his presence before he turned the knob in his hand and entered the kitchen. A cheerful grin towards the cook as she told him that Lex was in his office working as usual and he was off, moving quickly through the halls towards his destination. A quick scan with his x-ray vision showed that there was someone else in the room with Lex as he approached the doors so he gave a knock to announce his presence, awaiting the call to enter.

  
Lex sat at his desk and silently prayed that the pounding headache that had arrived shortly after his father threw open the doors to his office two hours ago would. Just. Stop. He held himself stiffly, face betraying no emotion towards Lionel but the usual boredom with a touch of mockery that his father usually saw. As usual, his father paced his office with a dramatic air, gestures grand to punctuate the validity of his lectures to his unworthy offspring that couldn't appreciate the value of his wisdom.

"Are you listening Lex? Not everyone can be as fortunate as you to have me hand you these tips for free," Lionel's sudden cessation of movement catching Lex's full attention more effectively than the vigorous pacing had.

_'Then perhaps you should spare me your charity and make me pay you for these 'tips' that you're so fond of. Then I'd never have to sit here and listen to you lecture,_' Lex thought acidly while his voice was pleasantly attentive as he said, "Of course I'm listening Dad."

"Your proposal to have an on-site physician and daycare is just not feasible," Lionel repeated, derision dripping from his every word. "You'd cost the company hundreds of thousands in losses with these frivolous programs."

Lex calmly folded his hands on his desk, "These programs will pay for themselves within six months by reducing the amount of sick leave needed by employees to care for their children or injuries obtained on site. The daycare would be a paid membership and would help improve moral by allowing those who must pay for other means of childcare the opportunity to have more working hours available to them as well as having their children close by in a safe environment. Another benefit is that the on-site physician would be available to care for any sudden illnesses in the children cutting down on the need for emergency leave. It's all there in the proposal."

Lionel laughed as he said, "Do you honestly think that building them a childcare center and giving them on-site medical is going to win you this town's favor?" A single rap on the closed door announced someone's presence, but Lionel's words continued on. "Their friendship? Honestly, Lex, you're a Luthor," Lionel's tone grew as cold as his expression, "and Luthors don't need friends. Your emotional attachment to these," he paused for effect, for the venom and distaste to build, "people, will never cease to amaze me. Do you honestly think that they'll accept you with open arms? That the Kents will finally accept you into their family?"

  
Clark froze at Lionel's words, their hateful venomous tone made him angry and sick to listen. His cheerful mood effectively destroyed by Lionel's words Clark took a step back from the door as more of Lionel's cutting speech drifted out.

  
"Or is it the Kent boy that you're hoping to woo with these actions?" Anger flared brightly in Lex's heart when Lionel mentioned the Kents, especially Clark.

"Clark has nothing to do with this, nor does his parents. It's a sound proposition based on lowering sick pay, medical pay and increasing my worker's moral and time spent at their jobs."

Lionel smirked at Lex's quick defense of his young acquaintance, "I'd be careful Lex, small towns aren't as forgiving as the larger cities when it comes to tastes such as you prefer. I'm sure the young Mr. Kent fulfills many of your inappropriate desires," Lionel turned to leave the office tossing his final words over his shoulder to his fuming son, "be sure to give my regards to your young friend, mmmm? I'd hate to have him find something unfortunate to lay at your feet should you continue with this absurd whim."

At those words Lionel opened the office doors and swept out into the empty hallway. Lex's rage boiled in his blood, pounded in his skull and a red haze drifted into his vision. He was up from his chair and throwing back scotch before he recalled the single rap to his office door. He put the tumbler back on the bar with a hard knock and threw open his office doors to find the halls vacant. With a frown he figured that one of the staff had been frightened off by his father's presence, not that it would have been the first time, nor the last.

His desk phone buzzed with the ring tone coded for the house and he quickly returned to his desk to answer it. "Yes?"

"Sorry to disturb you Mr. Luthor, but will Mr. Kent be staying for dinner?"

With a horrific speed and clarity that only seemed to occur when something bad happened the pieces fell together to identify the missing knocker at his office when his father was here. Clark.

"No, Mrs. Pierce, Clark will not be joining us tonight." He hung up the phone and moved away before he was tempted to slam the thing against the nearest wall.

Clark had shown up unexpectedly as he often did. Shit. Which meant that Clark had heard his father's ill-timed words in regards to himself. Shit, shit, and again shit! Which did not bode well for a good reception for himself at the Kent house by Mr. Kent should Clark decide to share the incident before he could do some damage control. Fuck and god damn his father to hell! With a deep, calming breath Lex flipped open his cell phone and made a call to the Kent farm.


	2. Cajole

Sorry about the wait folks, this chapter took a bit for it to work itself out in my head before I could write anythingup on it. As it stands I now have the very begining (chpt 1), the semi-begining (chpt 2), and the semi-end or possibly the ending wrote up. Just have to make them meet to keep the flavor of the story I wanted when I wrote the semi-ending/ending.

Zeynel - Wasn't aware that there was a setting for reviews to allow and disallow anonymous posts, but thank you for telling me. I have changed the settings to now allow them. :)

* * *

The gust of air moving through her kitchen was her only clue that her son had come home early from Lex's house. A quick glance at the clock told her that he didn't spend too much time there if at all. Either something exciting was going on or something had spooked her son. She frowned as she continued to snap the green beans in the sink, _Clark would tell her when he was ready._ Clark reappeared shortly after his wake had died out dressed in sweat pants, an old white t-shirt and running shoes.

_Something must have spooked him, _Martha thought to herself. She smiled softly at her son, "Going for a run, sweetheart?"

Clark shuffled slightly, his expression more sad than scared, "Yeah, I'll try to be home in time for dinner."

Martha nodded at his words; eyes measuring his face and pose carefully, "I'll keep you a plate if you don't get back in time."

At his relieved smile she gave him a slightly stern look, "We'll talk when you come home, okay?"

"Okay mom," happy grin when he saw she wasn't going to press the issue. He gave her a kiss on the cheek before bounding out the door, long strides carrying him easily down their driveway and onto the main road.

She watched as he continued to jog normally down the road until he passed out of her view and with a shake of her head refocused her attentions to her dinner preparations. She could appreciate the need to move while thinking something over, something she herself used to do as a young girl and didn't want to be interrupted while she worked over a problem. Her father encouraged her equestrian pursuit; it was an approved activity for a young lady of her family's station.

The trilling of the phone jolted her out of her musings. _Another reason for the horseback riding, no phones,_ ruefully thought as she wiped her hands on a nearby towel to pick up the receiver. "Kent residence, this is Martha Kent speaking."

"Hello Mrs. Kent, this is Lex Luthor," the young man's voice holding a note of calm that sounded to her motherly ear a bit forced.

Her smile crossed her face and her voice reflected her amusement as the familiar words came out of her mouth, "Martha, Lex. What can I do for you?" She imagined the sheepish smile on his face that he usually gave her as he accepted her mild chastisement.

A slight sigh escaped his mouth unbidden as he spoke, "I was wondering if Clark had come home. My father was here when he showed up and he caught the tail end of some of his malicious commentary. After my father left, I learned that Clark had dropped by but didn't stick around long enough for me to put what he heard into context."

The corners of her mouth were tugged downward by a frown as she modified her earlier assessment, _not spooked, upset. Oh dear…_

"Mrs. Kent?" Lex's questioning tone told her she had mused a bit too long.

"I'm sorry Lex, just thinking of where my son might have run off to since he isn't home yet," she covered, easily skirting the fact that her son had come home and gone again.

"Does he have particular places he likes to go?" Lex prompted helpfully.

If she knew her son as well as she thought she did, he'd probably go to hisusual spot by Crater Lake to vent his frustration at Lionel. He and Pete used to play along the northeastern shore where it went from woods to rocky outcroppings; skipping stones and watching the fish swim by. As her son grew older and learned that injuries from tripping on rocks were not to be, he grew bolder and found a small nook to hide in. He told her about it when he had come home all gritty from the dust in the cave-like hollow, how the cave made his voice sound funny to listen to.

"Well, Lex," she said slowly, as if she had to think more about where her son had run off to. "If you think he ran off upset…"

"Yes?" eagerness tinged with a bit of impatience.

She ignored the tone with gracious amusement deciding that her son should work over his problem with Lex's company than being alone, "…then I'd have to say to start looking for him by Crater Lake." If she managed to work this right she may pull off a night over for Clark on Lex's offering earning her a quiet night with Jonathan.

"Crater Lake? That's a bit far from here on foot, Mis…ah…Martha, do you really think he'd go that far?" his dubious tone at Clark achieving that kind of distance coming over the line loud and clear.

"He's a strong runner, Lex," was all she said to counter his doubts. "You could check the Talon or possibly Pete Ross's house, he may have gone there. There's always the Torch office if he went to speak with Chloe. If not there then I'd try the lake, he and Pete used to have a favorite hiding spot when we went on camping trips along the northeast shore near the rocks."

"Thank you Martha, I'll let you know if I find him."

"You're welcome, Lex. Should you find him before he comes home, let him know not to worry about dinner. You may have to spend some time talking him out of his bolt hole."

Confusion evident in his voice, "Martha?"

"Pizza helps," she advised sagely, "good luck dear." She hung up the phone before letting lose a mischievous chuckle.

"Uh-oh, something tells me you've done something wicked," Jonathan's teasing voice came from outside the back door as he removed his dirty boots.

"Nothing too horrible, just sicked Lex on our brooding son," she replied airily.

Jonathan paused over the threshold, scowl falling into place at the mention of Lex Luthor and their son in the same sentence. "Why would you go and do a thing like that?"

"Because Clark's "upset" kind of brooding. Seems he caught the tail end of one of Lionel's speeches to Lex and didn't stick around long enough for Lex to put it into context."

"Well good for Clark, he shouldn't need to have Luthor put anything into context. If it means that Clark finally sees him for what he really is, then I know I'd feel better that he's not going over all the time. If this keeps them apart then I'm all for it," Jonathan's words drifted to her from the bathroom as he washed up. Then the sandy blond head poked around the corner as he asked, "Did you tell Lex where to find Clark?"

Martha smiled to herself after she turned back to her cooking, blithely ignoring her husband's ranting. "I told Lex that he might find Clark at the lake. I also told Lex to feed him pizza. I expect our son to come home tomorrow fed and happy." She waited for Jonathan's reaction to that news.

"I will NOT have Clark spending the night at Luthor's place!" Jonathan's reflection in the window showed his reddening face.

She merely nodded as she stirred the gravy for the potatoes, pitching her voice to hold a slight tinge of hurt, "If that's what you want then you go find your son and tell him so. I, however, had hoped that you'd want to spend an evening with me without having to worry about what's eating at Clark."

Martha wasn't above using her emotions to manipulate situations to what she wanted when she felt it was for the best. She grew up with a lawyer for a father and cut her teeth on word games that were more complicated than this. She knew Jonathan would carry on like a wounded bear to cover for the fact that he was giving in to her wishes in this matter. It was a matter of pride for him, and she could understand and appreciate it. She started setting the food on the table after fixing Clark's place and placing it into the refrigerator for later, sensing his impending acquiescence.

"All right," he groused after watching Martha prepare Clark's plate, the scowl on his face deterring nothing as she worked. "If Lex invites him to stay the night then he can, as long as he's back in time for his chores."

She cast Jonathan a happy grin that he couldn't help but return as she playfully swatted him with a dishtowel, "Go change for dinner you grumpy ole bear."

A roll of his eyes and a long suffering sigh, "Yes, dear." The light steps on the stair betraying the jovial mood he hid at the prospect of a night without Clark in the house.


	3. Entreat

Wrote this up while waiting for the login server to reset itself so I could post it before going to bed. Unfortunately for me that ended up taking four hours for them to do so, so if there's some continuity oddities or tense errors that I missed due to being freakin tired...well, I'm sorry in advance. _/smiles/_ On a off note, it's been kind of exciting to see the hits counter rolling towards the 300 mark as I wrote this, especially when a lot of the hits show that the folks reading this story liked the first chapter enough to continue to the next. With that, it is with great anticipation that I see how well this new addition does. Enjoy.

* * *

The slightly horrified and disconcerted expression on Lex's face as he stared at his cell phone could only be accurately described as having one's cell phone lasciviously molest your ear while you talked upon it. A slow blink brought his attention back to reality, aware that he was stressing the small piece of plastic within his tightening grip. Did Martha Kent just foist her son off on him for the evening so …/_choke/_…he shook his head savagely to derail that train of thought. 

He drew himself away from his desk and moved in a semi-daze to the garage as he mentally reviewed the odd conversation he had had with Mrs. Call-me-Martha Kent. Clark wasn't home, check. Clark had places he liked to hide when he was upset, check. He could be found at the lake, though why Mrs. Kent suggested that right off…he jerked to a stop when he realized that he had arrived at the garage. With a steadying breath to settle his thoughts he pulled the keys to his favorite Aston and slipped into the sleek gray interior.

The purr of the engine helped anchor him to the here and now, to the task of locating Clark and ensuring that all was well in the world of Kent. The car slid smoothly through the gears as he flew out the gates and skidded around the corner of his drive onto the highway road that lead into Smallville proper. Lex could feel his calm soaring upwards with the climbing numbers on his dashboard, confidence taking solid root in his manner.

Clark would probably be found at the Talon, mooning over the lovely Ms. Lang as he brooded over today's events in his hot coffee. Flipping open his cell he quickly dialed the Talon and waited for his call to be answered.

"Talon, this is Lana speaking. How can I help you today?"

"Hello Lana," his voice a study in polite curiosity as he sped down the road. "Have you seen Clark come in today? His mother said I might find him there."

"Sorry Lex, I haven't seen him in today," she replied cheerfully. "Want me to have him call you if he does show up?"

"I'd appreciate that Lana," he hung up the phone after she wished him a happy day. With a snort he thought, _Yeah, happy if my dad hadn't shown up and ruined what could have been a good day with Clark._ He turned his car towards the high school deciding to take on Chloe, hoping to find him with her.

"I'm telling you Pete, there's something weird about these cookies," Chloe waved her bag of Farm Fresh Oatmeal Cookies towards Pete.

Pete swiveled away from the wildly swinging bag, which barely missed his head. Once Chloe plopped down in her chair he gave her a skeptical look before asking, "Okay, Chloe, I'll bite. What's wrong with the cookies?"

She gave a long-suffering sigh, as if its flaw was perfectly obvious, a hand waving absently at the unopened bag. "They're _oatmeal cookies_," as if that were answer enough for their inadequate nature.

Pete blinked at her in confusion, feeling a bit like Clark at that moment, "What's wrong with that?"

Apparently Chloe thought so as well, the half-smile that flitted across her mouth something that usually was reserved for Clarkisms. "Look, Pete," she opened some files on her computer as Pete grabbed the bag of cookies, not one to let a free snack go uneaten in the pursuit of research.

She jabbed her finger towards her monitor, Pete imagined the offending information shrieking in terror at Chloe's attack. "See? Fordman's shows that these oatmeal cookies were lowest sellers in their selection of cookie types until a few weeks ago, then bam! They're in the top three!"

Seeing the sales inventory Pete groans, "Chloe, what are you doing with that, it's private information!" Pete made a face as he bit into the cookie, "Oh man this is vile! There's no sugar in these things." He spit the mouthful of cookie into the garbage can, hurriedly putting the bag back on the desk.

A triumphant grin flashed in his peripheral vision, "Exactly! They're disgusting yet they're being sold like there's no tomorrow. Why? Are they pumped full of addictive elements or do the meteor rocks have something to do with the ingredients?"

"Perhaps I can answer that for you Miss Sullivan," the amused tone drawled from the doorway of the Torch office.

"Please do, oh wise one," snark belied by the playful twinkle in her eye as Chloe swiveled towards the voice.

Pete straightened from his crouch over the can and leaned a hip against the desk as he watched Lex smoothly enter the small office. He picked up the bag of cookies that Pete dropped back onto the desk giving the offensive dessert a cursory glance before setting it back down. He narrowed his eyes slightly; watching to see what Lex would do next.

"As you've found out, Mr. Ross, they're a disgusting treat, completely lacking the superb culinary delight of Mrs. Kent's efforts. I've been buying them and stocking them at the castle for my father to indulge in," his smile turned roguish at that admission. "I find that they cut the duration of his visits down considerably if I offer him the foul things. It'd be rude of me not to offer something and rude of him not to accept my hospitality. Not to mention a sign of weakness should he express discomfort over eating them as he thinks I'm eating the same cookie as he."

"You're not?" Chloe asked.

"I asked Mrs. Kent to bake a cookie similar in appearance to those things. I keep my cookies in a separate container though I have the cook slip an occasional Kent cookie into his pile to keep him guessing. He wouldn't keep testing them if they were always horrid. My father wouldn't spit out something he's bitten into, he'd wait for me to do so and then chide me for being so weak as to not being able to stomach my food," silky sly grin as he crushed Chloe's theory.

Pete couldn't help but laugh at that, "Man, that's just plain evil."

Lex smirked as Chloe's mouth turned into a moue of disappointment, "Well that explains that mystery."

"Sorry Chloe, no Wall of Weird for this stuff," Pete playfully slapped the bag of cookies.

"So what brings you here today Mr. Luthor?" Chloe asked, sharp eyes looked on with interest, reporter instincts telling her that this was the better story.

"Lex, please. I was hoping to find Clark with you or Mr. Ross, instead I find that you are both together saving me an extra trip around town."

Pete scowled as his hackles rose when Lex mentioned looking for his friend, "What do you want with Clark, Luthor?"

Inwardly Lex grimaced, w_ould he ever get beyond this point with the young man? Or was he forever doomed to pay for his father's deeds?_ "His mother suggested that I'd be able to find him with either one of you. As that is not the case, I'll just have to look elsewhere," Lex swiftly moved to leave the office to the two teens and was halted by Chloe's concerned words.

"You may want to check out the Talon, he may have gone there. If he's not there you could check around old man Tucker's field near the fishing hole, Clark sometimes goes there to do some thinking or hiding from me," she then looks down at his shoes. "Though you may want to bring a change of shoes, those will end up ruined ten steps out."

Lex turned a gentle quirk of his lips at her admission that Clark sometimes felt the need to hide from her. "I'll do that. Think pizza would be an adequate lure for the elusive Kent?" The playful tease managing to pull a quick quirk to the corner of Pete's mouth.

"Yeah, food helps a lot of the time. Sometimes that's the deciding factor to whether or not he pokes his head out of whatever hole he's found," Pete waved him out the door, a bit unnerved by this display of the kinder side of Luthor to begrudge him the insight gleaned from years of experience tracking down Clark when he got into one of his moods. "Good luck."

Lex gave an acknowledging nod before he disappeared from view. He shook his head at Chloe's insatiable need to find a mystery in everything around her as she delved into another one of her theories after he left. If she ever decided that journalism just wasn't for her she could find writing fiction more fulfilling to her quick wit and word savvy.

It wasn't until Lex had pulled out of the McDonald's drive through window with a large bag of greasy fast food for Clark and zooming down the road that he didn't quite know where this elusive fishing hole was in Smallville. With a sigh and a promise to somehow figure out a way to get Clark to accept and carry a cell phone so he could more effectively get a hold of him Lex settled into his seat for the drive towards Crater Lake. The elder Kents wouldn't have a problem with him giving Clark a cell phone if they could contact him with greater ease, would they? Especially when he's off doing his impersonation of a comic book hero and saving another denizen of the town, much to the consternation of the sheriff. _Of course they would_, he thought derisively at himself, _Kents don't accept gifts from Luthors_. He turned up the volume of the radio, only caring that it would be sufficient to drown out his thoughts till he arrived at the lake.


	4. Ideology

Wow, so this is chapter 4...it's funny how I never considered having this many chapters when I first wrote the inpirational piece of this story (which has yet to make an appearance). I'm glad chapter 3 went over so well though, I noticed a couple of repeat posters from my first story, which I thought was very cool. I wasn't kidding when I said I wrote the last chapter while dead tired. When I woke up a couple hours later (I don't fully wake up and function untilat least an hour after I get out of bed) and checked my stats and saw I had another post I was like, "Sweet!" Then I was like, "Cookies /frowns/ I...what cookies? I don't remember any cookies..." I had to reread what I had wrote and then I was like, "Oooooh, those cookies." LOL I know...it's sad. But hey, I figure if that went so well then maybe I should strive to write up a whole different story while that tired and see how it goes.

On a different note, I'm not sure why but it would seem that my stories sometimes lose spaces between words in some of my chapters when I import them here. I do try and catch them all but a couple slip past. Here's a question that has been niggling at me from the corner of my mind: Does it seem like my stories suffer from the lack of a beta? Not that it needs to be answered one way or another, just something that pops into my mind while I write. Anyways, enjoy reading this, I'll be writing the next segment. :D

* * *

The world looked funny to Clark from this point of view, sprawled out on his back and feet propped against a nearby boulder. He could almost believe, with a bit of imagination and a blatant disregard of the ground at his back, that the clouds overhead was really underfoot and that he was peering downwards into a blue abyss. If he focused hard and long enough he could feel the odd little flip in his stomach that signaled that his body believed what his mind wanted and with that he could begin his ritual of self-venting. 

See, some folks felt better when they talked to other people about their problems. He could hear his father's voice telling him that a problem shared was a problem halved, and if you really thought about it, it's true. When you shared something that was bothering you with someone else, you often found a solution on your own just by hearing it out loud. Just knowing that there was someone else who could help you with that problem made it not feel so big, so ominous. Other folks felt better writing it out in a journal or diary, giving them opportunity to sort out the issues as they were forced to slow down and think about it as they wrote. But for him, he couldn't really talk to anyone about what was bothering him. No one else could say, "Hey, it'll be fine, I've been there," because they haven't, not really. Not unless they too had the super strength, super speed, and all other super assorted powers that were at his beck and call.

If he tried to write it down he'd have to go through more troubles hiding what he really felt about what he could do under so many layers that it just wouldn't be worth it. Not to mention having to find the time to write, make up a system of code words for certain aspects of his life, and finding a very secure location to hide the journal that no one would be able to reach without a lot of problems…like at the bottom of this lake in a waterproof bag. Which would make retrieval and replacement a bit tricky should anyone catch him in the act…_uh, hiiiii /goofy grin/…no, there's nothing wrong, I…ah…was practicing. /nods/ Yeah, practicing holding my breath, cause dad says you never know when something like that may come in handy._ He snorted and rolled his eyes at himself, imagining the skeptical looks he'd receive at that…especially during the winter.

Which brought him to where he was now, pretending that nothing else existed but the cloud he was standing on over the cerulean sky. He liked to think it were a bottomless hole where he'd drop his problems in like the stones that they were, their weight no longer in his heart to cause him grief. He found that talking about it did help somewhat; kept the smiles he gave people light and frequent. Though, just hearing his own voice saying some of the things that bothered him didn't quite have that sting that hearing it from those close to him did. So, he imitated them.

It started innocently enough, teachers that unfairly singled him out because of one thing or another. Other students that bullied him in school at recess because they knew he wouldn't do anything back. He tried mimicking them in his room, but an unfortunate incident where his mom overheard him repeating what his dad said during one of his lectures ended up teaching him to take it to the barn or he'd taste the Ivory soap. Not that the barn was any safer, it was open enough that anyone could walk in and catch him mouthing off and making a mockery of his issues. Then he found the fishing hole on Mr. Tucker's property, and that sufficed as a sanctuary until a very persistent Chloe stumbled across him in one of her early days of meteor madness hunting.

He now only went there when he wanted more privacy than his loft provided but didn't feel like running too far out for it. Thanks to his more sensitive hearing he could still vent there and stop early enough should he hear anyone approaching to be able to pass off his venting as lounging. As for this spot, it was great, his 'I'm surprised you actually survived getting out here, must be important' spot. A slow grin crept across his face as he reached out with his hearing and only heard the gentle wind pushing the water softly at the rocks behind him and rustling in the patches of grass that grew in the crevices.

Another benefit of developing the more sensitive ears was that he was better able to imitate people's voices. Well, male voices at the very least. It made venting easier, he could play everyone's part from the beginning to the end. Say the things that he really wanted to at the time but didn't because he didn't want to let something slip that he shouldn't. He thought he did pretty well himself, his ear not able to tell much difference between his imitation and their true voice, though sometimes he had a hard time getting the tones of voice down pat when he didn't feel into it.

With a steadying breath Clark focused on controlling his voice so that it held the perfect pitch, perfect tremor, the perfect cadences of Pete's voice, his warm up voice. "Come on Clark," Pete's voice echoed slightly as it fell into the blue abyss, never to bother him again. "You know Luthor is only being your friend so he can find out your secrets."

"Of course Pete, how stupidly naive of me," the exaggerated eye roll he had wanted to give Pete last week joined the sarcastic tones. "Of course that's all Lex wants from me, what anyone wants from me. The truth to all the secrets that a farm boy like me is stupidly hiding because there's nothing else that I have that could possibly be of value to someone like Lex." Bitterness burned in his throat at the passing of the words that hinted at the slight insecurity hidden deep in his heart.

"Naw, man!" Pete's voice fell from his mouth, slightly pleading, mostly self-assured of their validity. "You know that isn't true! It's just," frustration taints the pleading with its venom, "you _know_ how they cheated my family out of the cream corn factory. Practically stole it from us."

Clark folds his hands behind his head, eyes closing as he settles into the half-memory, half-fantasy, "It wasn't Lex, Pete, get it through your head that it was Lionel that swindled your dad out of the factory. Lex was just a kid when that happened, just like us. Not like he went up to his dad and said _/he lightened his voice, making it sound like a little kid/_, "Dad, I want to be the best Luthor I can be, just like you. Let's pay these stupid country folk pennies on the dollar for their prime cream corn factory with the promise that we'll keep it just as it is. Then, when it's in our control, change it into a shit factory to show them how much we think of their traditions here. Can we? Please?" And Lionel, of course, said /_deepening his voice in an obvious mockery/_, "That's my boy! You make me so proud to see such ruthlessness at your age. Of course we'll do that way. Make it a Father-Son event, a tradition."

Pete's voice persisted, "Man, don't you get it? My family started that factory; it should have stayed a cream corn factory like Luthor promised! They promised and they can't be trusted because they broke their word."

Clark's face shifts into a thoughtful and concerned mien, "So you're telling me that you'd rather have the cream corn factory, being about 90 percentsure that is where you'll end up for the rest of your life, than having your mom be a respected judge? Dude, your family is a lot better off now than they were then."

"That's not the point!" Pete's voice was harsh with emotion.

"Your dad was an adult, he knew who he was selling to. No one forced him to sign those papers, and he should be glad he got rid of the factory before the meteors hit cause they devastated the corn they needed for production. Your family's business would have been crippled for years had they kept with the corn."

The quiet that followed the echo of his last words filled and soothed the ache that arose whenever Pete harped on Lex for things he had no control over. It hurt that his oldest friend couldn't seem to get along with one of his newest. It hurt because it meant that Pete didn't really trust Clark's judgment on people's character. While it was true that Lex wasn't a saint, it didn't mean that Lex hadn't changed or improved since the day that he had crashed into Clark's life. Another deep cleansing sigh resettled his mind for the next conversation.

"Clark, I know how much you want to tell your friends the truth about everything," his father's voice rumbled around him, he could almost feel the heavy weight of his hand upon his shoulder. "But there's just too much risk, son…"

So caught up with his musings and conversations he failed to register the light scuffing noises and occasional cursing that had been slowly drawing closer to where he was laying.


	5. Sentiment

I felt kind of bad letting my story go this long without an update, but I also feel bad for putting out such a short chapter. I figured that short was better than none so here it is. :-) I'm still excited watching the hit counter rolling, it's nearing the 600 mark which is a lot better than what my first story did, as it has yet to break 100. Hehe.

ellennar - Very sorry about the keyboard /giggles/ you should have seen the state of my clothes when I wrote the ending, was soooo not pretty. Had to take a shower and everything (it got in my hair), wasn't kidding when I said I laughed myself sick.

Tribble Master - 'cokies' I'll have to admit I liked that. lol Fits right in with 'sweek' and 'swignag' Plenty of history that might end up in a story one day.

The second half to this chapter will be out most definately by Wed night at the latest. Enjoy.

* * *

When Lex came to the area where Martha said he could find Clark he decided that his coat and Clark's food could stay in the car. There were trails that led to the lake's edge, but he could see that another smaller less used path led towards the rock bluffs that rose up forming an impressive ridge on the water. He could see why Pete and Clark were drawn to this location; the appeal of danger knows no age boundaries to the male persuasion. 

As he drew closer to the rocks he saw that there was no sign of Clark around the water's edge or towards the camp grounds leading him to believe that wherever Clark's bolt hole was it lay beyond the rocks. Unfortunately for his shoes, beyond the rocks meant that he needed to _climb_ the rocks. _Shesh Clark, you've got to be kidding me._

It was while he was clinging to the sloped rock face that he began to question his idea to chase Clark down. His hands were scored by numerous cuts caused by frantic scrabbling at hand holds when his precarious perch decided to crumble out from under his feet. His shirtsleeves were streaked with sweat and grime from clearing his eyes of the loosened dirt. Lex could feel his pant leg sticking to his left shin where he barked it trying to regain purchase. Lex regretfully consigned this outfit mentally to the rubbish bin; there was no 'old family technique' that would salvage his shoes. It was when he nearly reached the top of this face that he heard something, someone to be exact; he stilled his efforts at progress to focus on the voice. The wind shifted towards him bringing clearly within its wake the sounds of Clark talking. He frowned at the caustic tone of voice, wondered at what could bring about such a response in his normally good-natured friend.

"…what anyone…The truth…" Lex continued his careful climb up this part of the rock face, hoping that once he reached the top he'd be able to see where it was that Clark had hidden himself away to.

"…isn't true!" Lex twitched when he recognized Pete Ross's voice, _so that's who was keeping Clark company._ The flash of victory that raced through his veins as he achieved the top of his climb was short lived, crowded out by the discomfort of lying on his back upon the sharp rocks. "…stole it…" Lex frowned as his mind whirled trying to piece together what he was hearing.

With a soft grunt he propped himself up on his elbows, _Wait a minute! How the hell did Ross beat me here?_ Pushing up to a full sitting position his scowl deepened, _probably drove like a bat out of hell on some obscure back road that only the 'good ole boys' know about to reach him. Probably knows a shortcut to Clark's spot too._ With a muttered curse Lex pulled himself to his feet and surveyed the area as he gingerly picked his way across the rocks.

"…just like you…" Was that a little kid? No, Lex thought as he considered the voice, that was Clark imitating a kid. He didn't sound like he was in a good mood. Though he found it hard to believe that this animosity that Clark was displaying was the result of recent issues. Ruthlessly Lex squelched a budding thread of apprehension that Clark would be too worked up over this morning's fight between himself and his father. "That's my boy!" The deepened tenor echoed oddly in the gentle breeze, the rest of the words he could not make out.

"Shit," Lex hissed lowly when he saw a fissure that cracked the path he was walking. It was a five-foot jump from one side to the other with nothing but more rocks awaiting him should he loose his footing. "You've got to be a fucking mountain goat to get through here." With a brief pinch to the bridge of his nose to relieve the building tension behind his eyes, Lex steadied himself for the moderate leap. _If I slip and break my neck I'm going to kick your ass, Clark,_ then he leaped.


	6. Enticement

Well here it is, the second half of Chapter 5, a day earlier than expected, though it is part post-sleepy product so I humbly beg leniency for any mistakes that may have crept past. Hopefully this will make up for the short chapter. :)

A hearty THANKS! to ellennar for the inspiration that gave this chapter the subtle flavor changes that made for a remarkably different animal.

* * *

Lex felt like his heart was trying to leap out of his chest when his shoes slid on the small pebbles that littered his landing spot. His arms shot outward as he tried to control his balance, upper body thrown forward to avoid the gap behind him. While his heart valiantly tried to steady itself Lex looked carefully around to try and get a better idea where Clark was hiding. His soft panting was not loud enough to cover the voices that were gaining clarity with his approach. 

"…not the point!" _Ahhhh, the ever-emotional Pete Ross. Pity he's only that passionate when it comes to hating the Luthors._ Lex shook his head and continued picking his way towards the voices.

Muttering another curse when a stone rolled out from under his foot, Lex vowed that he was going to make Pete show him the faster route that he so obviously had to have taken to beat him here. He paused momentarily when he saw another large hole breaking up the surface between him and where he heard the voices. A slight movement within the hole caught his eye; Lex quickened his pace, eagerness chased his irritation away.

"Clark, I know how much you want to tell your friends the truth about everything," Jonathan's voice drifted over to him, his sympathy apparent, supportive in its obvious denial of permission. Jonathan? He's here too? What the hell was this, the meeting of the 'I hate Luthors Club'? Lex froze where he stood, breaths suspended in his efforts to hear what he hoped was about to be revealed. "But there's just too much risk, son…"

Lex heard the weary sigh that Clark made in his disappointment, "They're my secrets Dad, mine to share." Clark's words were heavy, seeming to weigh Lex down just by hearing them. Clark continued speaking, "You guys can't protect me forever, it's human nature to seek companionship, support amongst friends and family, and this is bigger than what you and mom can help me through."

Lex's mind whirled with the effort of building a theory with the limited conversation he had caught between Jonathan and Pete. Something that had to deal with the truth, Clark's secrets, and stealing something? He didn't quite understand what it was that was supposed to have been stolen, but this was something that upset Clark enough to resort to mockery in the harshest fashion. Something that secluded Clark, excluded him perhaps, since maybe he wanted to be 'just like you' in the manner that a son wants to be like their dad? He knew that Jonathan had forbidden Clark from playing football, and that Clark held some resentment for that. Did his secret have something to do with him not being able to play football? Would it clear up some of the mysterious events that seemed to occur around the teen?

Again Jonathan's voice seemed to be heavy with regret, as if this were an argument that happened regularly, "I know we can't shelter you from the world forever, son, but your mother and I will do so for as long as you're with us. I know that sharing your problems can make it a lighter burden to carry, but in this…" Jonathan's voice trailed off, Lex imagined a sympathetic gesture full of the care and concern that his own father often made a mockery of.

"I know dad," resignation evident in the barely spoken words. Clark sounded like he was near tears, the emotion tugging something deep within, like calling to like.

"Clark?" Lex called out cautiously, half expecting to hear the angry tones of either Jonathan or Pete to challenge his presence.

A soft gasp, the thing that had wiggled earlier dropped out of his line of sight before he could identify it, then an incredulous "Lex?" called out before scraping noises drifted out. Lex peered over the edge of the hole to find Clark surprisingly alone and not garbed in his usual jeans and flannel attire. He watched as Clark rolled to his feet and looked back at him and crimson fire burned across his features as he hurriedly brushed the debris off his clothes.

"Hey Lex," Clark shyly greeted him, all evidence of Clark's emotional distress gone as if they never were, hazel eyes peeking at him through a fringe of mussed dark hair. "I wasn't expecting anyone to show up," he offered, his face a careful display of sheepish innocence. Lex hid his surprise at Clark's unexpected guile, even his eyes shone with his projection of innocent truthfulness. Y_ou may be an awful liar, Clark, but I see now that this is an expression with many years of practice. Bravo._

Lex cocked his head slightly at Clark's artifice, "I learned from your mother that you may have come out here. I could have sworn that I heard voices." Lex's curious tone prompted for answers to his unasked question.

Clark fidgeted slightly, "No, it's just me out here."

Lex watched quietly as Clark avoided his gaze, what better way to get answers than to silently wait for them? He knew Clark would offer something, anything to keep the silence from getting uncomfortable. He privately grinned when Clark continued after a few moments, "How…how long had you been standing there, Lex?"

Time for his own duplicity, "Not long before I called out, Clark." Confident his minor deception would be unnoticed, "Quite the obstacle course you've got going here,discouraging for the casual trek. My clothes will never be the same." His self-depreciation coached with wry humor ensured that Clark wouldn't feel too guilty for making him go through all that trouble, yet obligate him to some form of payment for his loyalty to their friendship.

Clark shielded his eyes from the sun's glare to get a better look at Lex, his expression shifting from open friendliness to concerned astonishment as he took in Lex's state. "Must have been really important for you to go through all that trouble to find me here?"

"I thought it was," Lex held out a hand towards Clark to help him out of his hole. "My staff saw fit to tell me that you had shown up earlier today," Lex waited a moment, noticing the slight flinch Clark gave. "I'm assuming that you had heard my father being an ass and it upset you."

At the mentioning of Lex's dad Clark scowled and his voice took on a gruff edge, "I don't like your dad Lex. He…" Clark seemed to be searching for the right word. "He makes me very angry sometimes."

"So you come out here…" Lex prompted with an encompassing gesture for the spot Clark was hiding in when he realized Clark wasn't going to take his hand.

"I, uh, vent?" Clark replied, somehow turning it into a question as he climbed out easily, muscles bunching and shifting under his thin t-shirt drawing Lex's appreciative gaze momentarily. _Maybe he should subscribe to the farm chore methodology of exercise._

Lex nodded, deliberately guiding Clark into a verbal corner, "I see, would that be why I thought both Pete and your father were here with you?"

"Yes?" Innocence shone from Clark, an obvious attempt to misdirect Lex's attention. Interesting…

"You did a pretty good impersonation of Pete, I really did think he was here with you." Lex turned back towards where he had parked his car, expecting Clark to join him. "Which is funny considering that both he and your mother suggested I bring you food."

Clark's expression brightened as he drew up to Lex's side, "You brought food? What kind of food?"

Lex gave Clark a sidelong glance, "McDonald's cheeseburgers and fries. Though you'll have to eat them before we go, no way are you gonna eat greasy fries in my car."

Clark gave a little bouncing dance as he moved ahead trying to get Lex to hurry, "You're the best! Come on!"

"You wouldn't happen to have an easier if not secret route to get back to the parking area, would you?" Lex asked hopefully.

Clark seemed to think on his question briefly before chirping an overly happy, "Nope!" Lex gave a distressed groan of disappointment at that news which made Clark laugh before he moved into a light jog and bound effortlessly over the schism.

"Are you sure, Clark?" Lex resigned himself to the crossing when Clark merely shook his head. _Mountain goats,_ Lex groused mentally.

This crossing went better as Clark was waiting with a steadying hand and a, "Steady Lex," when he skidded yet again. Lex nodded his thanks to Clark for his assistance before continuing on their way. It wasn't long before they came to the rock facing that he had originally climbed up that doomed his clothes to their trashy fate. He swallowed softly; it seemed to be much higher when he was looking down than when he was climbing up.

"Tell me there's a hidden staircase around here somewhere?" Lex's hopes crashed when Clark shook his head. "I'm afraid to ask, but how do you get down normally?"

Clark's expression of calm looked suspicious to Lex, especially when Clark simply said, "Jump."

"You're kidding me, right?" _Please tell me you don't really jump from a 15-foot tall ledge,_ Lex mentally pleaded.

"Nope, I usually just jump. It's not that bad when you're used to it. I can help you get down once I'm done," with those words Clark moved towards a spot where the slope was more pronounced. Without any signs of hesitation Clark stutter-stepped a few times down the slope before taking the plunge. Lex could feel his heart drop down to meet his stomach as Clark fell, only to skip more than a few beats trying to reestablish its rhythm when he landed and straightened up unharmed.

Clark looked up at him with his head tilted slightly to the side, "You wanna jump too or do you want to try climbing?"

Lex tried not to blanch at Clark's suggestion that he jump; he could see the headlines, Luthor Heir Plummets to Death in Attempt to Defy Gravity. _I'm sure my father would be amused that I was trying to defy the Laws of Physics and not just him._ "I don't think I should jump like you did, my shoes aren't quite made for impact reduction like yours are."

"I'd catch you, Lex," earnest in the face of Lex's nervousness that he couldn't quite hide. "I wouldn't let you fall."

Lex allowed a chuckle to escape, temporarily easing his unease, "I don't think I want to risk that, I weigh a bit more than the lovely Lana." He grinned to show that he was joking with Clark.

"I don't think you outweigh my dad, Lex. I've caught him before when he slipped off the roof trying to string up Christmas lights one year."

Lex frowned, "How about you make sure I don't fall and kill myself as I lower myself down from the edge?"

Clark nodded, "Okay, I can do that. Once you get low enough I can help steady you."

It was a tense couple of minutes as Lex thanked all of his years spent building his upper body stamina with fencing. Clark helpfully called out where the closest footholds were as Lex worked his way down the rock face. When Clark's hands firmly gripped his hips Lex fought his sigh of relief and the flood of desire that spiked at the solidness of his hold. _'Such a strong grip,' _Lex's thoughts helpfully informed his libido and proceeded to torment him with the other ways that Clark's firm grip could be useful upon his body. Lex continued to follow Clark's directions, even as he smacked his wayward thoughts into submission, and soon found himself back upon solid ground.

Lex felt saddened when Clark's hands withdrew from his body, their warmth leaving him feeling chilled at their absence. "Thanks Clark," thankful in more ways than one, especially that his voice didn't betray his desires.

A blinding smile and then Clark was skipping ahead of him towards his silver Aston Martin. _Ahhh, Clark, food waits for no man, right? _He used his remote to deactivate the alarm and unlock the doors so that Clark could retrieve his food while he followed at a more sedate pace. He decided that he'd wait until they were on their way back to his house before asking Clark about his impersonations and about what happened earlier with his father. He didn't want to give Clark opportunity to run off before he got some real answers from him.

"We'll pick up some pizza for tonight on our way back through town," Lex informed Clark as he was eating, earning him a confused look. "I'll explain once we're on our way." Thankfully, Clark just gave a brief nod before returning to his food.


	7. Cogency

Hey, don't worry, I haven't been hogtied in attempts to keep me from finishing this story. : D Although, I'd have to give kudos to my job for trying really hard to keep me there and not able to add to my baby. _/shakes an angry fist at her job/_ To make a long story short they've taken a six person job and dropped it down to a 2 person a day job with only 3 people left on staff. Very hard to get any time to do anything now. But, I have been writing a little bit after work before I go to bed and have more than this done, just not enough to put it as another chapter.

As a general warning...from this chapter on, those readers who like to drink and eat while reading their ficfixes please be aware that you are running a risk of damaging your computer with flying debris. :) Now that I've said that...I'd like to give a hearty thanks to those readers who have been kindly dropping me a review here and there while this story has taken shape and grown into the lovely piece of hysterics that I can be proud of. Hehe, reviews make the author go 'squee' as does the hit count which has surpassed the 1k mark! Eeeee: D

* * *

Once Clark had consumed his gift offering…_/cough/_ bribe _/cough/_…they both climbed into the car and started on their way back to the town. Lex carefully watched Clark from the corner of his eye trying to determine his friend's state of mind. Clark's comfortable sprawl in the soft leather seat would have implied a mind at ease before today. Now he found himself searching deeper, trying to peer past the façade of innocence and happiness that Clark presented to the world as easily as he himself presented controlled elegance and power. He returned his full attention to the road when he saw Clark turning away from the window to look at him. 

"You don't have to drive like my parents to make me happy, you know? I'm only teasing you about your thwarted racecar fantasies," Clark gently nudged Lex with his elbow as he cheekily pointed out Lex's unusual adherence to the speed limit.

Lex managed to cover his surprise at his unconscious desire to keep Clark in a passive-aggressive attempt at captivity by driving slower. Lex quirked the corner of his mouth, "I thought I'd see how the other side lived, Clark. No worries about me driving this slow all the time, I'm finding it not all that it's cracked up to be."

Clark snapped his fingers, "Darn, and here I thought I was being a bad influence on you. Guess I'll have to try harder," Clark sighed dramatically.

The quirk grew into a full grin at Clark's antics, "So, Clark…"

Clark shifted in his seat so that he faced Lex more solidly, paying all of his attention to the older man, "Yeah?"

"How long have you been imitating people's voices?" He arched a brow when he looked briefly at his passenger, "You're pretty good at it."

As he had expected, Clark blushed furiously at his compliment, ducking his head away from his gaze to hide the extent of the flush. "Pretty much since I started middle school, I guess."

Lex waited to see if Clark would offer more information than that but was only met with silence. He carefully navigated the streets of Smallville as he asked, "So why would a young Clark Kent decide to take up impersonation?"

Clark shifted back into his seat and scratched at the back of his neck lightly, "Well, to tell the truth Lex, it was just typical kid stuff, you know? Didn't like a teacher? Get picked on in school by a bully? Dad didn't hold with fighting people. Mom taught me not to sass my elders. So, I'd hide in my room and imitate them to get it off my chest."

Lex nodded to show that he was listening, slowing even further as he neared the busier parts of the small town. Clark continued, "Well, mom caught me one day and washed my mouth out with soap for copying my dad while he was working on the tractor. Learned really fast that bad words coming out of my mouth meant bad soap going into my mouth." Clark laughed at himself, "So I started taking it to the barn."

Clark shook his head ruefully, "You realize how busy that barn gets? It was more frustrating trying to vent and having to listen for people sneaking up on you than just finding another spot. So I found a secluded pond on the back forty of Old Man Tucker's place, very quiet spot. I wouldn't recommend braving it though unless you're slathered in bug repellant and aren't bothered by poison ivy."

Lex grimaced, _No wonder Chloe seemed to be in good humor after telling me about Tucker's Pond. The little minx was hoping I'd get carried away by the mutant mosquitoes or mauled by the poison ivy. With my luck there really was mutant mosquitoes capable of carrying off small children to feed upon._ "You really have a knack of finding well fortified thinking spots."

Clark only shrugged, "Never minded the bugs myself or the ivy, but Chloe seems to think I planted the patch just to spite her. Keeps her from actually sneaking up on me while I'm hiding out there, though she just yells at me at the top of her lungs when she thinks it's really important."

They made it to the pizzeria without incident and they both climbed out of the car to the scent of Italian food wafting out of the building. Clark's stomach growled and he looked down at it in mortification before Lex started laughing at his expression. Clark jerked his head towards him at the rare sound and when he saw that it was genuine humor fueling the unusual event he started chuckling along.

"Let's go find you something to eat before your stomach decides that braised Lex is next on the menu," Lex swept past Clark as he stifled his laughter and entered the establishment. Clark shook his head in amusement and trotted in after his friend.


	8. Impression

Don't you just love it when a story practically writes itself? I do, especially when it's so close to being done. : D Remember folks, drink 'n eat responsibly when reading fanfics.

Lady Halaia -But does Smallville have a McDonalds? Very good question and here's my answer...yes, I believe it would. I believe it would because in the show we really only see a few key streets in the town, but the billboard says there's like 45,000 people that live there. Fallon, NV where one of my sisters lives has less than 8,000 people and they have a McDonalds. In Oak Harbor, WA where another sister lives there's less than 20,000 people and they've one as well. I figured it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to imagine that there was some form of fast food in a city that large. But excellent question, got me thinking. : D

* * *

Clark could only blink in stunned astonishment when Lex reeled off a laundry list of pizzas and side orders. When he asked what party was it all for Lex just gave him one of those secret smiles that rarely graced his face for anyone else. The car ride back to the mansion went pretty fast once Lex started to reveal that not only did he chase him down to make sure he was all right after his earlier visit but had also called his mom. His mom directed him to the Talon, and from there to the Torch. 

"I can't believe you managed to escape the clutches of Chloe on a Meteor-Madness spree without having to promise or submit to an interview," Clark marveled.

"I even got Pete to laugh," Lex sounded pleased with that result, it soothed his earlier pain at his two close friends not getting along. If Lex managed to get Pete to laugh at something he had said then there was hope yet.

"That's quite an accomplishment," Clark grinned at Lex when he saw Lex's face break out into a real smile.

"It's all part of my nefarious plot to take over the world," he nodded, his voice solemn. A sidelong wink before he threw in, "It's in the manual, you know. Have to get a Ross to defect to the Luthor side before I can qualify as a genius super villain to a superhero. Otherwise I'm just a regular type of villain. Once that's done it's just a matter of steps before I can take over the world. Figured since Pete was the youngest…"

"Oh yeah? What sort of steps?" He couldn't wait to hear this.

"Well once I get assigned a superhero then I have to put in a minimum of six months of intense research to learn all about them," he expounded.

"Them?"

"Well I could luck out and get assigned a knockout super heroine. Its just polite to stay gender neutral at this stage."

"True," Clark conceded. "And then?"

"Once I've learned about their strengths and weaknesses through a series of insidious plots that put the general populous at risk, I then must design more devious plots to reveal either their secret identity or friends that could be used as leverage. These plots would have to escalate in danger to both the hero and the people eventually putting the whole world at risk."

_Huh,_ Clark thought. He wanted to hear more of this side of Lex, "What sort of plots?"

Lex grinned at Clark, "I couldn't possibly tell you, what if the superhero found out that you knew me? They could trick you into giving up my secrets; convince you that it would be in my best interests if you would only help them. Best I keep that to myself, for your own safety."

Clark blinked in surprise at hearing one of his own reasons for not sharing his secret with people used on himself, "My own safety?"

"That's right…now where was I? Oh yes, steps. So, while I occupy the superhero, I'd devise and institute several plots to simultaneously discredit said hero and put myself in favor with the general public. Achieve a position of authority, like a Senatorial Seat and then Presidency. From there it really wouldn't be that difficult to make a move on the world."

"How can you be so sure that the hero would fall for it?" Clark couldn't help but bait Lex, especially since he seemed so earnest in his speech.

Lex turned towards Clark and gave him a look like Clark had suggested that their fathers enjoyed the other's father's company…intimately. "Of course they'd fall for it! They always do, Warrior Angel Comics proves it many times over." Lex's right hand drifted off the gearshift as he waved it to emphasize his point, "All the villain has to do is tell the hero that they give up, see the error of their ways, but that they need the hero to help them stay on the path. The hero would be so overjoyed that they've managed to save the villain from evil that they'd accept the offer of dinner and a planning session to review their operations to clean house. Once there, they'd be completely at the villain's mercy. Like Dark Helmet said, "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

Clark snickered, "You're such a dork, Lex." It was nice to see that Lex had a goofy side, even hidden away as it was. To see that Lex was comfortable enough with him to share, it made him feel warm inside.

"Yeah, that's what you think," Lex chuckled as he eased his car past the security gates and started up the drive to the garage.

Lex helped him carry their food into the house and took all but two pizzas in the kitchen for later before leading him to the second floor entertainment room. It was one of his favorite rooms in the castle. Lex said that there were larger entertainment rooms with better equipment, but this was the one he preferred because it seemed more 'Lex' than the others did. More personal, private, made it easier to pull Lex away from the isolated position he held himself to when dealing with people.

"I think Spaceballs can be the starting movie for tonight," Lex imperiously announced after Clark made himself comfortable on the floor leaning against the couch. He watched as Lex set up the DVD player and made his way to join him on the floor.

"Can't go wrong with Mel Brooks," Clark agreed as he and Lex watched the movie.

By the time the end credits had rolled Clark was complaining of aching ribs from laughing too much at Lex who had performed Dark Helmet's scene with his dolls complete with voices and hand motions. He was in near tears when Lex had offered to get his Dark Helmet and Princess Vespa action figures and redo the scene "as it should be performed." Clark could almost envision Lex as Dark Helmet, though he didn't want to share that inspired bit of warped baldness-inspired visualization.

Clark slumped over to his side and looked at Lex with watery eyes as he gasped between chortles, "You're such a dork!" He looked at Lex's grinning visage, "You really do have the action figures?"

"Of course, it's one of my favorite movies," Lex rolled his eyes at the obviousness of that answer.

Lex pulled himself up onto the couch and flipped off the entertainment center. "So can you do the sound effects like Michael Winslow? Or is it just voices?"

Clark stood and resettled on the couch with Lex once he composed himself, "Just voices." It was then that the grandfather clock chimed eight times. With a sudden look of horror that crossed his face he realized that he had missed dinner, "Oh god! I told mom I'd be home for dinner!"

Before Clark could jump off the couch Lex had placed a hand over his arm, "Clark, she didn't expect you back for dinner, that's why I bought all that food. Though you should call her to let her know that you're okay."

Clark nodded and moved to use the phone to call his mom. By the time he finished his call Lex had more of the food brought into the room and he happily announced that his mom said he could spend the night. With a gesture Lex drew Clark's attention to the food that had been brought in while he was busy on the phone.

"So tell me, how does one go about impersonating people?"

"Well, I usually practice with people's voices that I hear most often. Pete, my dad, Whitney…your dad," Clark sheepishly added the last one.

Lex smirked, "You practice with my dad's voice?"

"He gives people plenty of reasons to be angry with him, myself included," Clark turned his gaze towards the food, hoping to avoid the blush he could feel creeping up his neck.

Lex bit into a piece of pizza as he hummed his agreement with Clark's description of his father. Once he took a drink of his water Lex added, "I can't blame you for that assessment of my father. He lives to piss people off, it's the Luthor way, and someone's bound to be angry at one of us because of it." He waved off Clark's immediate need to reassure and sooth as he continued, "Don't worry about it Clark, it's something I've grown used to."

"You shouldn't have had to grown used to it, Lex, it's not right," Clark offered before getting himself another slice of pizza.

"So do you just repeat what you've heard them say? Or do you do other things?" Lex's grin was easy going as he tried to get Clark to open up.

"Sorta," he hedged. "Take your dad, I'd make him say stuff when he did things that pissed me off. To make me feel better, you know?"

Blue-gray eyes focused on Clark in interest as he leaned closer to him, like sharing a secret, "What sort of stuff did you make him say? Or would you feel more comfortable just repeating what he usually says?"

Clark could feel his face blazing across his cheeks. The conversation he had overheard earlier still rolling around inside, unspent, his usual rituals of venting interrupted before he could finish. He cleared his throat nervously before he opened his mouth and Lionel's voice filled the room, "Honestly, Lex, you're a Luthor, and Luthors don't need friends." Clark had closed his eyes as he continued, unable to look at Lex while he spoke, "Your emotional attachment to these people will never cease to amaze me." He waited in anxious uncertainty for Lex's reaction.


	9. Persuasion

The final chapter, and ironically the part that was conceived of first. : ) Enjoy, I know I did while writing it. After this I believe I'll get to writing up another comedy.

* * *

Lex shivered at hearing his father's voice, his words from earlier, coming from the angelic visage of his best friend. The tone, the attitude, the scorn, was exactly the same. If he hadn't seen Clark's mouth forming the words he would have sworn his father had spoken them. "Jesus," Lex breathed, taken aback as his mind replayed the moment. 

Clark's dark lashes lifted exposing Lex to the hesitation that lurked deep within the blue-green orbs. _He hasn't shared this with many other people, if anyone at all,_ Lex realized, surprised. "That's a frighteningly accurate impersonation of my father, Clark. I half expected to see him lurking in the shadows. Though, I find it hard to believe that hearing my dad say that would make you feel better."

Clark let the corner of his mouth turn upward into a mischievous grin, "Not exactly, I'd make him say stuff. Embarrassing stuff."

Lex arched a pale brow, "Do tell, Clark, what sort of embarrassing things did my 'father' say?" His mind offered scenarios where his father touted Jonathan's platitudes or professed a craving for a hair cut but was completely unprepared for the uncharted twisted turns Clark's mind held.

Clark closed his eyes and squealed in Lionel's voice, "Ooooh! That's an absolutely darling summer dress! Do you think I could have it in cotton candy pink? What am I saying? Of course I can, I'm a Luthor!" His father's baritone rose and fell in excited tremors, "I must have it Dominic, find it in my size! Oh and shoes, and the makeup!"

An exasperated sigh, "This will never do, it's got to have it's own entourage of accessories. Dominic! I want a new car," he demanded arrogantly. "Make it yummy," as Clark purred out the last word he cracked open an eye and saw something that was rarely seen by the world.

Lex Luthor, howling with laughter as he clutched helplessly at his stomach. Who knew that Lionel impersonating Lana Lang on a shopping spree could be so funny? Oh good god, what potential! The blackmail…he laughed himself off the edge of the couch, barely missing the coffee table on his way down. He could hear Clark's muffled giggles as he fought outright mirth at Lex's hysterics.

"You've," Lex gasped as he tried to suppress his giggles. "You've got to let me record you doing that!" He managed to turn them into snickers until Clark started laughing, which only fed his own laughter. He couldn't remember when he had laughed this hard, especially when his father was involved.

"I'll tell my dad he talks in his sleep, channeling his inner fairy," he snickered and gazed at Clark in a new light, desperately fighting the bubbling laughter that tried to escape. "You're evil Clark, just evil!"

Clark flashed him a predatory smile that caused a bolt of desire to spike in his stomach, his 'evil' look needing no work at all to convert the masses to his way of thinking. "Mmmm, polyester and spandex," Clark purred in his father's voice, eyes sliding to half-mast, head tilted back to expose his throat in a wanton display of pleasure as he sensually rubbed his stomach. While the pose and actions made Lex's flush burn brighter with desire it was overruled by the humor at hearing his father's voice saying such things.

"Oh god Clark! Stop! I'm gonna wet myself," Lex gasped between peals of hysterical laughter.

Clark sniggered as he braced himself against the back of the couch and his legs against the coffee table to rub one leg against the other. "I love the feel of stockings on my freshly waxed legs…they're such pretty legs…" He gazed appreciatively at his own sweats clad legs, completely missing the heat that flared in Lex's eyes when he displayed them for perusal. "I feel pretty, oh so pretty…" Clark warbled.

Lex rolled to his unsteady legs and staggered to the closest bathroom trying to escape Clark's imitation of his father. His knees gave out after he shut the door behind him, unable to contain his amusement. He rose quickly to take care of his overwhelming need to urinate before his bladder betrayed him as he laughed himself silly in the face of Clark's antics.

"Lex? Are you all right son? You really shouldn't laugh so hard at your poor old father," his father's voice chided him from the other side of the door, triggering another round of near silent giggles. "Do you realize how hard it was to find these darling sandal pumps in my size?" Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes, he could feel his ears burning and a pressure build in his lungs as he tried to suck in a full breath of air.

"Lex? You alright?" Clark's voice came through the door as Lex rolled onto his back and coughed a few times to clear his lungs.

"Yeah, Clark, I'm okay. Just needed a breather," his panting slowing as he got a grip on himself. Assuming that Clark had returned to the entertainment room, he was surprised when it was Clark's concerned visage that greeted him on his way out.

"I don't think I've laughed quite so hard before," wiping the tears from his rosy cheeks. "Especially when my father was involved," he gave Clark a speculative gaze. "You're an evil man."

Clark rocked back slightly on his heels, a small smile crossing his lips before he turned back towards their waiting pizza. "Told ya, I made him say things to make me feel better."

Lex smirked as he resumed his place on the couch, "Mmmmm, makes me feel better too." He shifted so that his sprawl allowed him to nudge Clark with his foot, "So, will you let me record you impersonating my dad?"

Clark seemed to seriously consider the question for a while before he grinned and replied, "Only if you use it to blackmail your dad into leaving you alone."

Lex's smirk bloomed into a genuine grin, "I can do that. Now, do Pete's voice next!"

Clark just rolled his eyes at the foot prod and request but complied, "Man! You Luthors just don't know when to quit!"

"Not bad, not bad," Lex pursed his lips momentarily. "How 'bout mine?"

Lex watched as the most contradicting expression crossed Clark's face, the bright red flush nearly distracting him from the wicked gleam that sparked in his eyes.

"No, dad, those Hello Kitty hot pants don't make your ass look big," the droll sarcasm perfectly refuting the claim. Clark waited a moment after Lex had gaped before continuing, "Though I would have thought you had learned about wearing small leather garments the last time you ripped a badly sewn seam."

Lex's mouth gaped open and closed before he suddenly popped Clark on the shoulder. "Hey! What was that for?"

"I don't even want to even **think** about my father in hot pants," he shuddered. "Let alone the garment giving way…"

Clark snickered, "You've got to admit, if I were to prank call Dominic and have him order a pair for your dad…would he ask why or would he go and get them?"

They both erupted with laughter as their imaginations filled in the progressing looks of horror that would cross Dominic's face and then Lionel's face…"Should I get the phone?" Lex choked out.

Clark grinned.


End file.
